When drinking is outlawed, only outlaws will drink

We bid adieu to Utah today. It's been real. It's been fun. But it ain't been real fun.

Actually, it was pretty darn cool. Much better than we expected. (Nikki - "Moab? Where's Moab")

However, one tiny little fact hindered the experience from being all that it could be: the state controls the liquor. We've all heard the rumors about the booze scarcity in Utah, but I never could have fathomed the iron-fisted grip they keep on their spirits in that state.

After a few days in the canyon, we headed back to town to stock up. A woman at the local grocery store gave us directions to the Moab State-run liquor store. However, Monday was Columbus day and the store was closed. So we headed into the Canyonlands with a tiny little bottle of grappa Nikki had been saving. No big deal.

However, by the time we completed the drive to Salt Lake City we were thirsty. I mean, that's a long drive, you just need to unwind every once in a while.

We were going to be spending the night in the (crazy spooky) SLC Walmart and decided we should just get some beers. Or so we thought. In Utah they can only sell beer that has 3.2 percent alcohol in grocery stores. Oh, cruel, cruel world. What a rip off.

Dismayed but not daunted we roamed the streets of SLC looking for a bar.

After charging or computers at a Subway we stumbled upon Duffy's, and for $1.75 a piece we were each handed a nice, frosty glass of beer.

Little did we know how lucky we were, because every other bar we came across was members only.

Recharged, we headed home for the evening after a little stroll through SLC's south side.

The next day we rode our bikes through downtown SLC. It is nice, neat and clean, and you always have a view of the mountains to the east. Also, we found two of the best bookstores Nikki or I have ever been to.

After several hours roaming shelves we retreated to the Dod and made our way out of town. But first we wanted to see the "Great" Salt Lake.

Did you know that "Salt Lake City" isn't even on the Salt Lake. BS, right?

In my head I had always pictured a bay or something.

So we drove 20 miles out of town in our attempt to find this so called Lake. And after 30 minutes of driving around corn fields and horse pastures, we found it. Almost.

Salt Lake has an island in it. It is a state park. There's a long bridge that goes out to that state park. Five miles before you even get to the lake, they want you to pay $9, just to spend the day there. Not only does this state guard their booze with the totalitarian zeal of a despot king, they keep a lock on the Salt lake too.

We asked the attendant at the gate if there was any public access to the lake near by. She told us No, but if we wanted to drive down I-80, towards Las Vegas, Nevada, we could see it from the expressway.

Well, I've seen enough lakes in my day that i wasn't about to give Utah my nine bones. Heck, I lived smack dab in the middle of the gol-darn Great Lakes. Bodies of water actually deserving of the title.

Forgive me, I'm just a little bitter.

Needless to say we continued down the road. However, within an hour we could see the shimmering waters of the Salt Lake and we took the first exit we found to try and once again breach the state's defenses.

Now they wanted $10 from us to see their lake. Except this time the guard shack was unmanned, so Nikki punched the gas and we busted through.

And then there it was, the Great Salt Lake, rimmed by mountains to the west. I stuck my feet in the cool waters and Nikki did a cartwheel in the sand. Then we hightailed it out of there before we got caught.

All in all, we had a pretty good time in Utah. But we must be moving on. We're making a pit-stop in Burley, ID for the night before continuing on to Boise. Then it'll be another trip through the mountains before Washington. However, now that we're out of the canyons we should be able to post more often.

Until next time.

Canyonlands By Foot and Uinta By Dod

Captioned photos of Canyonlands National Park and Uinta National Park below.

But first, a word on WalMart. I've grown fond of the notorious WalMart over the past four weeks. Despite their unfair treatment of and poor wages for employees they've made a decent impression on me personally. WalMart provides me a lot to lay my head in every third night or so. WalMart sells me beverage to wet my whistle and ease my mind. WalMart gives me free DS and Wii games to sample. And most of all WalMart is a prime people-watching venue.

On that note, Salt Lake City WalMart is a special case. I saw one of the oxymoronic hairstyles I've ever seen : a slick poof patch of wavy black hair on the back of a shaved head. And me without a camera... The beer aisle offered a maximum of 3.2% alcohol. Say what?! Even disregarding the preconceived notions of Utah, I've seen and heard more children than I ever wish to again. In the women's restroom there were no less than three toddlers crawling unsupervised in and out of the stalls. Two more were yanking out paper towels by the dozens. One peculiarly pale young lady strutted her stuff down the aisles in a black tank top and jean skirt with heels she could barely stand in. Twice, people emerged out of nowhere in the parking lot soliciting tamales. And finally, our cashier had a lanyard made of human hair. Salt Lake City WalMart, you're one-of-a-kind. You can thank God for that!

CANYONLANDS NATIONAL PARK

Tuesday, the Dod got two separate compliments. The first was from a guy rubbernecking out of his own VW van to mouth "NICE VAN". The second was from the ranger at the Canyonlands visitor center who said "sweet ride!"

A breathtaking drive into the Canyonlands National Park (free once again thanks to our America the Beautiful pass) lead us to our campsite for the next two days. Fortunately, we were able to claim the very last site of out of the 12 at the camp. We took an evening stroll down to the Green River overlook to watch a sunset that never came due to overcast skies. On the menu for dinner: Beef & Brandy.

The Green River which carved out a channel of rocks that were deposited nearly 300 million years ago.

Chris and the Dod at our campsite at Willow Flat. There were rumors of a wildcat citing late on Tuesday night.

Wednesday morning we got an early start to attend a geology lecture with a park ranger. After the talk we took our newfound knowledge on a leisurely hike around Grand View Point overlook.

Me, posing after an informative geology talk by Ranger Nathaniel. I'm standing on the highest level of sandstone cliff referred to as the Wind Gate. The Wind Gate is made up of a dense matrix of well-sorted layers of sand lithophied hundreds of millions of years ago by weight and pressure when this land was nothing but a massive dry desert.

Chris posing while we hiked around the White Rim. The White Rim was formed after the Wind Gates when this land was a huge salt-water beach. The white edges of the cliffs were formed from the sand on the white beaches. The white rim is hard and erosion-resistant.

The center of the photo shows some of the Chinley Formations. They are also of the sedimentary variety, but less rigid and more prone to erosion. They were formed when the land was a tidal mud flat and the rivers deposited many different sizes of material from silt to boulders.

Breathing in the fresh air until a geriatric behind us let one loose that echoed through the canyons. No joke. Even Chris was like "What the hell was that!?"

The prom picture we never had.

Can you spot Chris Peters?

Incaptionable.

Chris wished he had his G.I. Joes to play with here. I wouldn't understand... I never played with dolls.

Tuesday afternoon after a lecture on John Powell, native Illinoisan who ventured west to map new land, we took another hike to view the Upheaval Dome.

Small rock piles guide the way and man-made stairs assist in the hike up the steep sandstone to Upheaval Dome.

View into the grand Upheaval Dome in the Canyonlands. Two main creation theories are it was either created by salt tectonics or by a massive meteor crash.

Chris curmudgeonly posing in front of the Upheaval Dome (his words, not mine)...

Me, doing an interpretive pose of this knotted, dead tree.

Lily the Lizard, tour guide.

Next, we took in the sights at Buck Canyon.

A fantastic display of the multilayered beauty of cumulous-rich blue sky, towering La Sal mountains in the background and Buck Canyon in the foreground.

A view of the White Rim.

More rocks.

UINTA NATIONAL PARK

Wednesday we departed the Canyonlands bound for Salt Lake City. The highway drive was more scenic than a lot of parks I've seen.

View from Highway 15 en route to Salt Lake City.

Another view from Highway 15.

The weather went from cold and windy to warm and sunny to cool and foggy to cold and rainy to mild and sunny.

Fog-busters!

Jesus wuz here.

We took the state 92 road which lead us thousands of feet above sea-level on winding roads for spectacular views. We almost camped in the high altitude for the night but decided against it due to cold temperatures and rain.

The Dod in front of a spectacular view in Uinta National Park near the Timpanogos Cave.

Hidden-away waterfall.

The Dod posing in front of the waterfall cache.

Another waterfall amongst the rocks.

These here are Dalmation Trees. There's 'bout a hunderd million of 'em on 92.

Snowy peak in the not-so-far distance.

On 92 in Utah. One of the top three most scenic drives of the trip thus far. This would have been very similar to our campsite view had we decided to camp for the night.

Alas, we opted for a WalMart instead for the night. It's been adventurous none-the-less, just not in the preferred outdoorsy way. Sweet dreams, guy with poofy slick patch. Sweet dreams, children crawling on bathroom floors. Sweet dreams, Dod. Sweet dreams, you.

Be-UTAH-ful

The red-rock landscape in Utah is so drastically different from the green and blue Michigan we have grown up with. As usual, it's difficult to capture the depth of beauty in photographs but here are a few to give you an idea.

It's also hard to describe Utah's beauty in words, but I'll give it a go. The rust-colored rocks are reflected in the river running through the canyon making the water appear as red as the great surrounding stone walls. Or, the rocks kind of look like giant toasted circus peanuts. Nom nom nom...

Tonight we camp at Arches National Park. It's a little pricey so we'll probably head to the Canyonlands National Park tomorrow. Driving through the canyon is just a wee bit perilous. Narrow roadways adjacent to steep rocky cliffs sans guard rails. True white-knuckled driving.

The third balanced rock of the trip will present itself to us this weekend. We will rate it against the one in Devil's Lake, WI and the one in The Garden of the Gods, CO.